Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Johnny Depp?


Oh my goodness! I have just watched the most random, yet interesting film. Yeah, this one is a film, not a flick, very artsy. (Jim would have despised it!)

"Before Night Falls"

I know, I know, you're saying, "Susie, where have you been? This sucker came out YEARS ago!" But I found it on a movie channel and had some time to kill, so I made me some tea and hunkered down.

Right out of the shoot, the credits had me in a quandary. Johnny Depp? Sean Penn? Really? But that's what they said. I was INTRIGUED, I tell you!


It's a true story, based on the memoirs of Reinaldo Arenas (1943-1990). It begins with some beautiful story telling, as Arenas' own poems are read, all the while showing the squalor of his childhood. In one scene he is a very innocent 10 or 11 year old, running away to join the Revolution. He is given a ride on a donkey pulled cart driven by none other than Sean Penn! (That's him on the left)

Seriously, the worst "white guy-turned brown guy" I have EVER seen. You can tell it's him in a second, his makeup is atrocious and frankly you are so surprised by his very presence, that you're already in a shaky state. But then HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND BEGINS TO SPEAK!

This is a "Spanish-ish" language film. Heck even the so-called English sounded like no English I'd heard. Kinda hard to understand, but when in Cuba... But where the rest of the film you struggle to understand the very heavy accents, this time, you just want it to stop. (Think Kevin Costner in Robinhood), he sounds like a REALLY bad Cheech.
The story moves on to his adult life. Reinaldo was a gay writer in Revolutionary Cuba. Not the best sorta guy to be in those days and in that place. He was in constant fear for his life and was in and out of prison a good deal of the time. AND THIS IS WHERE HE FIRST MEETS JOHNNY DEPP! (That's him on the right) Ol' John really moves out of any kinda comfort zone you may have thought possible. His charactor smuggles Reinaldo's latest novel out of the prison so it can be published. How does he do this you ask? Well, one hint, he is famous for the capacity of one of his orifices. I will wait right here for you while you get this one... (Humming, da-da-da-da, da-da-da. Da-da-da-da. Dah! Da-da-da-da...)
The End!

5 comments:

kara said...

Johnny makes for an alarmingly pretty girl.

Sarah said...

No, seriously? Johnny Depp is hot even in full drag with a novel up his arse.

froelica said...

I agree with the other females of the comment board. I would go on a date with him dressed like that if I had to.

And I've said it before, and I'll say it again: SEAN PENN LOOKS JUST LIKE DYLAN. There.

Sarah said...

Wow Ashley. Now that you pointed it out, I see it! He could be a stunt double or something for him. Oh, I guess he'd have to do "stunts". Maybe not.

froelica said...

Dylan does stunts all the time. He's usually piss drunk when he does though.